Shattered
by LindsayR
Summary: Draco's POV on Ginny's "death". Sequel to Illusions.


Disclaimer:  I own nothing.  Everything belongs to J.K. Rowling.

                 The poem at the bottom is titled 'Miss You' and the author is anonymous.

Shattered

By

Anessa Ramsey

         I can't remember the last time I was actually happy.  I think it was with Ginny, but I'm not sure.  I've been angry and bitter for so long it has blocked out all the good that she once saw in me.  

         When we first fell in love it was beautiful.  We were beautiful.  We chose to ignore the pleadings and manipulations of our families trying to pull us apart.  We ignored the advice that we got from the professors and the reactions of our friends.  We ignored everything because we were too wrapped up in each other.

         Back then it was consuming, passionate, like it had a life of its own.  Sometimes I actually thought I could touch it, it was so palpable.  I think others realized it too, eventually.  The protests stopped, as did the manipulations.  We settled into our love and were complete for the first time in our lives.

         If I had known the way it would end, I never would have gotten near her.  Or maybe I would have.  I don't know if I would have had the strength to stay away.  She was the only one who understood me.  That was when I actually fought my father's will.  I didn't want to be a Death Eater.  Yet here I am, with this horrific mark on my arm.  I don't know when I stopped fighting.  It might have been when I saw him murder my mother in cold blood.  

         Ginny doesn't know about that.  I rarely talk to her about anything anymore.  Being a Death Eater tends to numb you to everything but the cause.  I can't even find comfort in the presence of my daughter.  Ginny thinks that I'm upset because she didn't give me a son, but to be honest I'm grateful.  I wouldn't want to put any son of mine through the same pain that my father inflicted on me my whole life.  

         I know that she doesn't love me anymore.  I can see it in her eyes.  Even when I strike her, there's no reaction.  I miss seeing the adoration that used to fill those chocolate brown orbs.  I miss holding her at night.  We still sleep in the same bed, but there are miles between us.  I miss being in love.

         When I arrived home tonight, I knew something was horribly wrong.  Albus Dumbledore was at my house.  I had seen nothing of him since my years at Hogwarts and I knew that he wouldn't have graced my doorstep unless something was amiss.  I was almost certain that they had discovered what I was and he was here to haul me off to the Ministry to be dealt with.  

         Instead his words dealt me the most shocking blow.  My wife and daughter were dead.  Something broke inside of me.  For the first time in years emotion swamped me.  In my mind I saw her as she had been last night and I realized it was as if she had known something was going to happen, because for the first night in years she asked me to make love to her.  It wasn't about wifely duty or obligation.  She wanted me to love her.  I remember the tears in her eyes as we came together.  It was as if all the years of pain were gone and we were just Ginny and Draco and we were in love.

         I remember screaming.  It was as if everything inside me came flooding out in one great wave, destroying me.  I remember searching every room in the house praying that he was lying.  I looked for my beautiful red haired wife and our wonderful daughter but they were not to be found.  I remember ordering Dumbledore out of my home.  I wanted to grieve and I wasn't going to do it with him watching me.  It wasn't until he was gone that I realized I forgot to ask how they died.  I later learned it was a drunk driver that killed them.  

         When they were laid to the ground I was the only one there to say good-bye.  Her family was dead, a transgression I know she blamed me for, though I had nothing to do with it.  I thought that Potter and Granger would show up, but they didn't.  They'd never been close to Ginny.  I look up just once, hoping that this is nothing more than a nightmare and that's when I see it.  Just the slightest flash of red.  I see the waist length hair swishing softly.  Her back is to me, but I know that it is her and I know that I'm not hallucinating.  She's alive.

         My first urge is to run after her.  I want to know why she did it.  I want to know where Olivia is.  It's then I realize I don't have the right.  She faked her death, and our daughter's death, to escape me.  With a heavy heart I start walking back home.  Rain is starting to come down, but I don't care.  I am lost in thoughts, wishing right at that moment that I had done things differently.  I wasted so much time with her and I can never get it back.  The tears slip down my cheeks mingling with the rain and I am thankful that they cannot be seen.  I can't help but look back one last time, but she is gone.  And I am shattered. 

I miss you in the morning, dear,

         When all the world is new;

I know the day can bring no joy

         Because it brings not you.

I miss the well loved voice of you,

         Your tender smile for me,

The charm of you, the joy of your

         Unfailing sympathy.

The world is full of folks, it's true,

         But there was only one of you.

I miss you at the noontide, dear;

         The crowded city street

Seems but a desert now, I walk

         In solitude complete.

I miss your hand beside my own

         The light touch of your hand,

The quick gleam in the eyes of you

         So sure to understand.

The world is full of folks, it's true,

         But there was only one of you.

I miss you in the evening, dear,

         When the daylight fades away;

I miss the sheltering arms of you

         To rest me from the day,

I try to think I see you yet

         Where the firelight gleams –

Weary at last, I sleep, and still

         I miss you in my dreams.

The world is full of folks, it's true,

         But there was only one of you.


End file.
